In a world full of and seemingly driven by materialism, each day I strive to live a life of SUBSTANCE.  More and more, I feel the media and so much of America’s television programming is centered and geared towards the NEGATIVE and materialism.  I’m honestly starting to feel as though television should be viewed by adults and MATURE minds ONLY!  Our children, our future are being saturated with so much GARBAGE on tv!  It’s becoming a major contributing factor to many of the negatives in America’s societal issues and problems.  Television, magazines, news and media in general can tend to paint this facade of glitz and glam that immature minds may not always have the ability to separate the fact from fiction.  Making regular, creative and talented human beings who are celebrities into God’s when they shit just like the everyday person.

I find there to be an underlining message or objective American society has been programmed under and its MONEY.  Not even an American thing but the whole world seems to have this unspoken disclaimer that striving to make money or the most money is the bottomline of human existence.  So is it to say if you are someone like myself who is NOT consumed or driven by money, per say…Does that mean I lack ambition or drive?!  Certainly not!!

Life is about QUALITY and not in terms of money!  Yes, having money or more of it may make things easier but I feel its such a wrong and misguided concept that the ultimate goal in life should be to make millions.  Money cannot and does not buy HAPPINESS!  It will buy THINGS and take you places, yes but cannot, does not and will not guarantee a worry-free, happy life.  Sometimes having more money creates more problems and as a result can actually be the cause or contributing factor of a much earlier demise.

The world really needs to gain a clear FOCUS and concept of a better REALITY and teach our generations to come that they should strive for a life of QUALITY and SUBSTANCE.  Turn off the television, stop reading the bullshit the media filters and targets us to gain or promote a certain way of life and thinking!

We all should live each day, creating our own realities and striving for personal happiness based upon our ownselves and not what society tells us is “cool” or “lucrative”, etc… Don’t set out to be a celebrity or like anyone but your own self!  Never allow anyone to box you into the societal norms or statistics!  Follow and make your own path!

Each day I strive to be better than the ME I was yesterday, learning and creating a life of QUALITY and SUBSTANCE!

Just my two cents! ;)

Is there a VALUE or IMPORTANCE we KNOW or UNDERSTAND our lives to BE?  If so, who sets the standard of how that is DEFINED?  Does SOCIETY, STATISTICS, FAMILY, FRIENDS decide the VALUE of our INDIVIDUAL lives?  How much RESPONSIBILITY do we EACH have for our OWN life?

A few different questions, all of which touch on the same query and theory.  I swear, it must be somethin about ‘challenging’ times that bring out a hell of alotta things into PERSPECTIVE for me…LOL  I guess at this moment, I can truly be thankful for all the nonsense, BS, insanity, uncertainty, failure, disappointment, etc… Cause whether its cycles, patterns or on and off unfortunate experiences happening to you, if at the beginning, middle or end, it doesn’t GIVE or FORCE you to have REASON to think, reflex, plan, hope, aspire, PRAY and grasp a BETTER outlook or understanding of yourself and your ULTIMATE goals…Lawd lawd, somethin might be wrong witcha!

Hmm, I’m thinkin that right there was sorta off tangent rant…not really what this post is supposed to be about…I don’t think! LOL But maybe it ties into it!?  Lemme try to get back into the vein of where I’m intending to go with this…Ha! :P

Basically, my life’s experiences (all good, bad and ugly, orchestrated by God) have brought me to a place where NOW I am truly understanding the RESPONSIBILITY of my PURPOSE, my PASSION, my JOURNEY.  Having FAITH is not enough!  I’d had faith for YEARS but was delinquent in my ACTIONS!  I kinda feel like some of that was in believing in the LITERAL sense that “As long as you have the faith, the size of a mustard seed…” You know the rest, yadda yadda yadda!  But more importantly, in addition to your faith “Faith without WORKS is dead!”

I think I spent alotta time in ignorance and some laziness.  I feel a lot of us become easily bamboozled and COMFORTABLE with just living.  We try to do right, pray and thank God for what we have.  But are we accomplishing, achieving and acquiring that place in life that is FUELED by our God-given PURPOSE and PASSION?!  (Hmm, this was supposed to be a short blog…Already gettin outta hand…Oh wellz! LOL)

Anyways, back to what I’m sayin here! :)  You can’t just sit back and HOPE, PRAY and WAIT!  You gotta get up and DO somethin ALONG with all of that!

Like that delicious lookin pie in the picture.  Imagine having waited and hoped to taste or get a piece of that pie.  Your in a huge arena, full of people…Waiters are comin around serving it or you have the option of making your way through the crowd to get your slice.  How many of us are FEENING for that piece of pie yet SITTING, waiting for someone to SERVE it to us?!  You know or hope that there’s more than enough but you have no guarantee if the person across the room will be served a slice next or if you will.  You see where I’m goin with this?!

Get OUT there, get UP, GO and TAKE your piece of the pie!!  Don’t be lazy, sittin down thinkin or waitin for somebody to serve it to you!  That’s basically how I see my life now, I’m goin AFTER my piece of the pie.  I’ve already done the sit and wait game.  Yeah, I might be next on the list for my slice but why live my life sittin back in ease and HOPE of somethin to be GIVEN to me, when I have the OPTION, the KNOWING, the FAITH, the BELIEF that if I get up and find my way through the crowd…I WILL GET MY PIECE OF THE PIE, CAUSE I’M TAKIN IT!

MESSAGE!! ;)

This is a re-creation of an outfit I wore in South Beach, Miami to a rooftop party at the Soho House.  Wine and mini desserts were flowing while enjoying a cool breeze after a scattered rainshower.  It was very relaxing! :)

I just had such a life-like dream it was sooo SURREAL and AMAZING!  WOW!  The wheels are in MOTION!  :D

I have been doing some SERIOUS SELF-work, REVITALIZATION, preservation, RECONCILING, restructuring, renewing and REHABILITATING myself SPIRITUALLY, mentally and emotionally (PHYSICALLY…An on-going battle!) on and off over the past TWO YEARS, at least.  All of which has been ORCHESTRATED by God!  I will say over the past 6MOS, I have been turning it UP a notch more and more!  PUSHING myself and PUSHING myself, pushing myself BEYOND myself!!  You know, when you’re PRESSING and PRESSING through yet not always seeing RESULTS as quickly…So you go through a seemingly CYCLE of never-ending UPS and DOWNS!  C’mon, I can’t be the ONLY person who’s EVER experienced this?! LOL

At this very moment in my life, FIGURATIVELY, I feel like I’m TIGHTLY snug up in my prayer-closet.  Now, that’s an old-school, church-folk ideal…So if you don’t get what that means, go holla atcha Christian grandma or the closest old person you might know OR what the hell, GOOGLE it…Shooo, a Wikipedia page’ll probably pop up!  LOL :D  But anyway, in this ‘closet’ I am ALLOWING God to CAPTIVATE my FULL attention!  I’m extending my WORSHIP, PRAYER, PRAISE and most of all my EAR is pressed to his MOUTH and HEART.  I’m SECLUDING myself into this place to prayerfully YIELD me to UNDENIABLY hear His VOICE!  He’s giving me DIRECTION and cluing me in, showing me bits and pieces of the ‘MAP of MY LIFE’ as He TRUSTS me to REVEAL it to me.

I swear, I most times jokingly think I’m such a weirdo but in actuality I’m just fine the way God has made me and I really wouldn’t have it any way else! :)  It may come as a surprise but for the most part, I am a LONER at heart.  Something that I’m not sure I, myself have always had the greatest understanding or acceptance of, yet I do ENJOY people and interacting most of the times…But I could literally be in a room full of people, socializing and enjoying the atmosphere yet in my psyche feel all ALONE…And I’m not meaning that in a depressing, bad way…I can’t really explain to make you understand!  If you do get it, maybe we’re ALIKE in that respect! :)  Hmm, I believe I may be going off on a tangent right now!  Have no doubt, there is a FOCUS to this post or RANT rather! LOL I think!? ;)

So back to the ‘closet’…I’m SHUTTING OUT all the NOISE, DISTURBANCES, and DISTRACTIONS.  My tolerance has become ZERO for NONSENSE!!  To describe the place I’m in, I could say its BITTERSWEET.  Its scary yet EXHILARATING at the same time! :D  Some days I struggle with whether I’m BALANCING the factors of my life correctly.  Places I used to go, things I used to do, people I used to be around…I have little to NO INTEREST anymore!  But not sure if its NO TOLERANCE, one or the other or both…I can’t really decipher!  But really, I don’t feel its important enough to spend too much of my time trying to distinguish between the two…LOL  I have BIGGER fish to fry!  I say that in somewhat of a snobbish yet clairvoyant way!  Its like God is PULLING my hand like a mother yolking up her bad ass kid for him/her to “C’MON!!” and FORGET about whatever it is of unimportance that was consuming his/her attention.  God is a jealous god, ya know?!  When he wants your ATTENTION and He ain’t gettin it…He will MOVE, DISPLACE, DELETE and/or DESTROY whatever it is that has captured your attention away from Him!  At the end of the day, I’m HUMAN and by no means perfect!  I have many faults, sins and flaws.  I sometimes feel bad in that I can’t really EXPLAIN what is going on in and with me.  Its like, I HOPE people would understand but I am pass the point of NEEDING them to understand.  And God is putting me at PEACE and ease with it because His WILL for my life is much more IMPORTANT than anyone, place or thing! :D

What is my point here?! LOL  Oh, back to the dream…OMG, it felt sooo REAL kinda like the movie ‘Inception’ which if you have not seen…Uh yeah, Imma need you ta go watch dat!  Fa sho!! ;)  So basically, I was having a back and forth correspondence with an individual who I recently was given direction from.  The person was telling me insight as a result of the task that I’d completed which I’d done in somewhat of a MEDIOCRE fashion.  They posed the question to me “Why should I convince others to take a CHANCE on you?”  I believe I offered a STRONG comeback and response of which I can’t recollect word for word at the moment.  Most times, I can barely remember my dreams at all and if I do its certain parts AND my memory of it only stays in my brain for a short window of time…LOL  Strange?

The gist of the dream and EPIPHANY that I got which I believe God SPOKE to me is that…He is putting ALL the pieces TOGETHER to bridge the gap of my DREAMS with my REALITY and thus His PURPOSE for my life will be ACCOMPLISHED.  My task and CHALLENGE is that I MUST BELIEVE IN MYSELF in such an EMPHATIC way, UNDOUBTEDLY and UNWAVERING as to WILL and CAUSE the SAME belief to MANIFEST and MATERIALIZE through the PEOPLE, PLACES and THINGS that He has ASSIGNED to ASSIST, DRIVE and ACCOMPANY me for a REASON, SEASON or particular PURPOSE as I journey to FULFILL the DESTINY He has on my life…Whoa, I’m thinkin that might sound kinda deep but its really quite SIMPLE concept!  Somewhat along the same lines as the ‘laws of attraction’, whichever ENERGY I send OUT will then be ATTRACTED back to me.

I have ALREADY had so many CONFIRMATIONS of this epiphany so this dream really puts the icing on the cake.  This rant has become so much longer than I anticipated so I’m gonna try to wrap it up.  Plus, I’m gettin sleepy AGAIN…Been up typing this for the past 2hrs…Eeeek! LOL :P  But anyways, I’ve grown into the habit of readily and more easily MOTIVATING and BELIEVING in others, which brings me JOY.  It warms my heart to see and experience people LIVING and ENJOYING life through their dreams, accomplishments and goals.  I’m always searching for the silver lining in other folk’s situations.  There was a time when I had the same self-belief, desire and motivation for MYSELF.  But I allowed most of my NEGATIVE experiences to bury me into a HOLE of SELF-DOUBT and INADEQUACY.  I’m talkin a place so DEEP, I’m not sure there are many if not ANYONE that TRULY knows!

All that to say, I’m breaching the surface baby!  Hell, I’m BUSTING through it!  I’m not in the clear fully YET but I’m makin my way!!  I’m soo PROUD of myself!  I am soo THANKFUL to God for LOVING me enough to PULL me out of the DEEPEST, DARKEST dungeon in my life.  I have a story, I have a DREAM! (Ha, sorry! MLK moment! LOL)

Like Steve Harvey says, HE AIN’T THRU WIT ME YET!! ;)

Seriously, who makes the RULES for life?!  Some days, I could swear there must be a theoretical book like the Bible that outlines all the laws and rules of life.  Yet NO ONE seems to have or know where the ORIGINAL, authentic copy of this book is.  Thus, the mere speculation of its existence becomes somewhat of an urban legend.  Although, these laws and rules of life have not been proven to be FACTUAL, surprisingly enough, it seems society teaches and grooms everyone in the same manner as though they were.  It’s like following the bread crumbs that were left for Hansel and Gretel.  

In so many different aspects of life, it seems we are JUDGED by these unproven, unspoken rules or laws.  Society tells us that at a certain age, you are to act like ‘this’ or ‘that’…You should ‘have’ or ‘acquire’ ‘this’ or ‘that’!  These rules MOLD us into the person we become.  It’s all mapped out and we’re to FOLLOW the steps as a means to an uncertain end.  If you are a man, you are ‘supposed’ to be attracted to WOMEN and vice versa.  When you are an ADULT, you should no longer be PLAYING with barbies or G.I. Joes.

What happens when you decide to make your OWN rules and stray from these ‘pre-set’ ideologies?  What or who is to say the measurement of what RIGHT and WRONG is?  In a lot of cases, I feel like these ‘rules’ were based upon statistics and a particular success rate.  None of which is LAW!

I’ve come to realize, I don’t really like fitting in!  Or maybe that’s because most of the time I don’t feel as though I do fit in.  However, I don’t like being predictable!  I don’t like being boxed in!  Why do I have to follow the rules?  I wanna make my OWN rules!  Most days, I feel like I’m in a constant battle to break out of this ‘norm’ of life!

Everyday is definitely a new opportunity to learn.  When its all said and done, some rules you have to follow, some you can bend and some you can break.  That’s just the way it is!  Or is it?!?

justrl:

Don’t you wish it was that easy….